Information About Delayed Ejaculation & Its Treatment
Personal Factors And Delayed Ejaculation
The personal factors that make delayed ejaculation so important are explained here.
Definition of DE
A modern definition agreed upon by therapists who deal with delayed ejaculation (also known as retarded ejaculation or DE for short) is:
Continuing difficulty or delay in reaching the point of ejaculation, or the complete absence of ejaculation, even when a man has had enough sexual stimulation to bring him to climax in normal circumstances, and when the man wishes to achieve orgasm and ejaculate during sexual activity.
Over the years, delayed ejaculation has been named ejaculatory incompetence, anejaculation, ejaculatory over-control, and male orgasmic disorder, although this latter term has not found favor since it refers to the mental and emotional sensations of orgasm rather than ejaculation.
These sensations are the product of brain activity, whereas difficulties associated with ejaculation are more related to the failure or inhibition of the reflex of ejaculation - which is, or ought to be, a simple response to sexual stimulation in the nerve pathways of the spinal column.
As you can see, the definition of DE given above includes an element of subjective judgment about what is regarded as sufficient sexual stimulation to take a man to his sexual climax.
However, most men who have DE will be all-too-well aware of that fact. Most of them will be experiencing distress because of it, and so will most of their partners!
Generally, retarded ejaculation is incomprehensible to the man and his partner. Usually it makes for a relationship in which tension and frustration are high, where communication is low, and where the man tends to ignore the problem until the pressure is too great to do so any longer.
Often that is when the relationship is on the point of breaking up or the woman wants to become pregnant. (Very occasionally I have heard men say that they appreciate delayed ejaculation because they can last long enough during sex to be able to take their partners to orgasm. This is not common - often the woman is even more frustrated than the man.... not to mention sore, and feeling unattractive and let down.....)
Prevalence Of Delayed Ejaculation
It's not easy to be sure of how common DE is among men in general, because good, reliable research is lacking. One thing that's for sure is that the problem is much more common than lots of people have believed for a very long time: surveys on the internet (and therefore confidential) seem to suggest that delayed ejaculation occurs in about 12% of the male population, a figure which contrasts dramatically with the 4% or so identified by pioneer sex researchers Masters and Johnson in the years just after the second world war. With increasing knowledge, and more research, and possibly better reporting, estimates of how frequently men have problems in this area have gradually increased.
Part of the problem here is that men are very reluctant to talk about sexual problems. This seems to be mostly because they feel ashamed about having sexual problems like premature or delayed ejaculation - shame - and see it as "unmanly" or "unmasculine". Clearly the subject needs to be discussed more openly and freely so that the negative connotations can be dispelled.